Best golfing jokes ever

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Best golfing jokes ever. What do you call a Downie who loves playing golf?A tee tard. Why there are 18 holes on a golf course?. Laminate flooring and oak furniture define a theme for your house. Best collection of short funny jokes Best 10 short funny jokes based on visitors votes. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. I play golf is to bug my wife. He started out slowly entering his wife gently then finished hard. The cop asks the woman, “Where did an old lady like you get all of that money?” She replies, “Well, there’s a golf course behind my house and when golfers need to go to the bathroom, they stick their p. Through the windscreen of a BMW. As they teed off on the next they noticed him quickly chip on and putt out, before running up to their tee. About the golfer who got shot yesterday?. What does a golfer do on his day off?Putter Around. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Researchers examined more than 1,000 jokes before whittling them down to a final 50 and getting 36,000 people to vote for their favourites. Funny golf jokes - one liners !. Stuck for a short, snappy joke next time they’re doing the rounds in the clubhouse bar? One of these great golf jokes will always raise a smile… 20 Of The Best Golf Jokes Let’s start with what we consider the best of our 20 great golf jokes… Mark of respect Two golfers are ready to play on the 11th tee as a funeral cortege passes by. Then the teacher asked April a third question. A wife walked into the bedroom and found her husband in bed with his golf clubs. I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. But registering is FREE and don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address, and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties see Privacy Policy. Best golfing jokes ever.

Best golfing jokes ever. Usually she slept through the class. I was playing golf and I hit two of my best balls. Why are golf and sex so similar?They are the two things you can thoroughly enjoy even though you are really bad at them. Priorities A fourball watched, intrigued, as a lone player played up short of the green they were on. I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov world chess champion and there was a check tablecloth. Between driving in golf and driving a car is that when you drive. The Front Nine The Back Nine - Funny Golf Quotes More Golf Jokes and Golf Pictures Please send Will and Guy your favourite golfing. Com   Comedy genius Tommy Cooper had by far the most jokes in the list, which also includes gags by Peter Kay and Lee Evans. A sandwich walks into a bar. Com requires session cookies to operate properly and your browser appears to be disabling cookies. And get new jokes every day. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. The fire in time and the building burned down. A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins, What a turtle disaster        39. Difference between a lost golf ball and the G-spot?. Too wet to play golf when your cart capsizes. Has golfed all his life, has his own definition of the word G. The man ducked and the drunk, losing balance, fell off his stool on to the floor. When a golfer sticks his p. Just in case they had a hole in one. Best golfing jokes ever.

Best golfing jokes ever. From St Andrews to Wentworth to Abu Dhabi. What do golf and sex have in common?. One says to the other,. Click here for more information. About the player who spent so much time in the bunker he got mail. A seal walks into a club. I tried water polo but my horse drowned. The right club? A hacker was playing so badly that his caddie was getting increasingly exasperated. A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The father asks his son what he did that afternoon. I almost died in Finding Nemo. Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. He decides to test it out at dinner one night. The taxi driver knew that they were drunk so he started the engine & turned it off again. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did. Slept like a log last night. This contest requires users to be registered in order to vote. Rugs and carpets and wall hangings. Looks like you have JavaScript disabled. Yes, they said it was a hole in Juan. Best golfing jokes ever.

Best golfing jokes ever. One advantage over a fisherman. A jump-lead walks into a bar. 5° Right Hand AT705 Driver 10. He died of natural causes. Getting Old and Living Fine!. This contest requires users to be registered in order to vote. The 3rd guy slapped the driver. One starts to insult the other one. Rugby Sevens Hits Moscow. Do you know why the game is called golf?Because all the other four letter words were taken. Click here to go to your profile page to complete the process. He was understandably upset, and sought out the farmer. The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant. ? Golf balls are like eggs. Why do golfers put minus signs in front of their scores?Because subtraction speaks louder than words. Melania came quickly screaming. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. Went to the paper shop - it had blown away. Into six other cars and a fire engine. You must complete account validation before submitting jokes. Best golfing jokes ever.

Best golfing jokes ever. If you’re looking for funny golf jokes, then this is the best collection of jokes about golf for you to share with friends and family. ChooseA wife walked into the bedroom and found her husband in bed with his golfclubs. A cop sees an old woman carrying two large sacks. Golfers were standing over looking the river. A vain attempt to do the same thing. 3 drunk guys enterd a taxi. Now we have no Cash, no Hope and no Jobs. Low in the 80s and with a handicap. ” “Well, it’s only right,” the first golfer replies. Between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?. Can you give me a few pointers?” Barack gave Donald a few ideas and that night Donald made love to his wife. “I was married to her for 35 years. And finally, a classic… Why do golfers always carry a spare pair of trousers with them? In case they get a hole in one. Can I replace the hen?” “I don’t know about that,” replied the farmer, mulling it over. Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners. Show Business is just to pay the greens fees. You must be a registered user to submit a joke. ” What’s the best part of having sex on a golf course? The hole experience. Where is the best place to go on vacation?In the Golf of Mexico!What do you getll a blonde at the driving range?Lift your head and spread your legs. How do you know a golfer is cheating on his wife?He always puts his driver in the wrong bag. Best golfing jokes ever.

Best golfing jokes ever. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. These funny golf jokes about are clean and safe for people of all ages. Call 1,000 golfers lined up on a pebble beach holding hands?. After a good dinner, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. What kind of model is Paige Spiranac? A hole in one of a kind model. It took him two hours to pass me the salt. So I went  -  and I got it. Attached himself to the prettiest lady golfer in the room and began boasting. It came in at quarter past four. Drowning your sorrows After a particularly poor round, a golfer spotted a lake as he walked despondently up the 18th. Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants?In case he gets a hole in one. I backed a horse last week at ten to one. Just like Barack Obama. Com requires session cookies to operate properly and your browser appears to be disabling cookies. Please rate funny short jokes by clicking on smiles, so funniest jokes will be also best jokes on our web site!Attention! If you rate joke, joke rating and position will change. Call a blonde golfer with an IQ of 125?. ” Slow play The problem with slow groups is that they are always in front of you, and the fast groups are always behind you. Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married. To finish their bottle of whiskey!. ” The cop asks, “So what did you do about it?” The old lady says, “I get my hedge clippers and I wait behind the fence. Best golfing jokes ever.

Best golfing jokes ever. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. They spent a decade and twelve million dollars designing a pen that would work below three hundred degrees, in space, and on glass. This joke may contain profanity. What do you do after a round of 18 on a hot sunny day?Wash your balls. What do you call Jessica Alba joining you and your buddies for a round of golf?Fantastic 4-some. I like my women how I like my golf score. Why did the chef cook his eggs on the golf course? Because he wanted them par-boiled! Why does Trump always ensure he has a second pair of pants with him every weekend? In case he get a hole in one. You do if your round of golf is interrupted by a lightning storm?. Through the fence, I grab ahold of it and shout GIVE ME $20 OR IT COMES CLEAN OFF!” “That seems fair enough,” the cop says, “so what’s in the other sack?” The old lady replies with, “Not everyone pays…” Donald Trump was golfing with Barack Obama. What do you call a blonde at a golf course?The 19th hole. Bullets are made of lead, which comes from the ground. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. When Nasa first began sending astronauts into space, they were confronted by a small problem. Find 100 doctors all at the same place on any given day?. A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. He did everything he was told. Particularly bad round of golf, Robert decided not to go to the nineteenth. Why are cripples the best at golf?They have clubfoots What do you call the 10th hole on a military golf course? 10-Putt! Yo Mama So Short That When She plays mini golf its just called golf. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. And a week later you have to buy some more. Best golfing jokes ever.

Best golfing jokes ever. The ground is part of nature. Every time I hit the ball I scratch my head and wonder where it went. Four worst words you could hear during a game of golf?. One boy throws his bag out the window. Now, what do you intend to do. You just need to learn to keep your head down and your left arm straight. “How many eggs a day do you lay?” Eggs. Why was the computer so good at golf? because he had a hard drive What happened when the dog played golf? He hit the ball into the ruff. Who taught Elin Nordegren to swing a golf club?Happy Gilmore. You must be a registered user to submit a joke. “It’s good to see there is still some respect in the world. Funny golf jokes - one liners ! The schoolteacher. Mulligans are the reason golf balls come three to a sleeve. When his caddie then coughed as he steadied himself over a 12-inch putt on the 10th, he lost it. My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked. The car driver lost control and crashed. Were sitting at the 19th hole discussing their games this year when. 10,000+ videos by PGA Pros. 5° Left Hand AT725 Driver 10. Even though i got no votes. Best golfing jokes ever.

Best golfing jokes ever. Walking to the golf car park to get his Range Rover, a policeman stopped him. A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. Home lighting to the patio and. Ball  Jack Lemmon After a. But registering is FREE and don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address, and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties see Privacy Policy. Their standard ballpoint pens would not work in space. One of the sacks has a hole and is leaking 20 dollar bills. Never pay monthly or annual fees!. Watson go on a camping trip. Walk around holding your 1-iron above your head, because even God. The fire engine was unable to reach. Why did the blonde golfing pro cheat on his wife?Because he thought every day he needed to play around. You must complete account validation before submitting jokes. The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow. The driver was shocked thinking the 3rd drunk knew what he did. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. Always carry two pairs of trousers with them ?. What did the duck say to the golf ball?Nothing it should have ducked. Was taking her first golfing lesson. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Best golfing jokes ever.

Best golfing jokes ever. My stance a little bit, tighten my grip and lower my right thumb. Rugby World Cup Sevens in. I know that you black guys are supposed to be magic in bed. A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. Chicken run A golfer sliced a ball into a field of chickens, striking one of the hens and killing it instantly. They charged one - and let the other one off. Woke up in the fireplace. We respect privacy and keep all emails confidential You have reached the maximum number of submissions for today. Hole [the clubhouse bar] and started to go straight home. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. Click here to go to your profile page to complete the process. Some of these golfing jokes might not be understood by people who have never watched or played golf, but most are easy enough to understand and should get a lot of laughs. Through a hole in my fence and pee into my yard. “That was a really nice thing to do,” the second golfer says. The first player stops, doffs his cap, and bows his head as the cortege passes. A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. It became a problem because it kills the flowers. I can hardly contain myself. The Donald said, “Listen Barack, I’m getting older and I’m having trouble sexually satisfying my young wife. Best golfing jokes ever.

best golfing jokes ever
best golfing jokes ever

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