Best golfing jokes ever

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Best golfing jokes ever. After a good dinner, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. ” The cop asks, “So what did you do about it?” The old lady says, “I get my hedge clippers and I wait behind the fence. Just like Barack Obama. I backed a horse last week at ten to one. Laminate flooring and oak furniture define a theme for your house. Between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?. Walking to the golf car park to get his Range Rover, a policeman stopped him. Then the teacher asked April a third question. Never pay monthly or annual fees!. Com requires session cookies to operate properly and your browser appears to be disabling cookies. You must be a registered user to submit a joke. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. These funny golf jokes about are clean and safe for people of all ages. Click here for more information. Even though i got no votes. Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. The first player stops, doffs his cap, and bows his head as the cortege passes. Getting Old and Living Fine!. Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married. Where is the best place to go on vacation?In the Golf of Mexico!What do you getll a blonde at the driving range?Lift your head and spread your legs. Best golfing jokes ever.

Best golfing jokes ever. Attached himself to the prettiest lady golfer in the room and began boasting. Can I replace the hen?” “I don’t know about that,” replied the farmer, mulling it over. This contest requires users to be registered in order to vote. My stance a little bit, tighten my grip and lower my right thumb. He died of natural causes. Priorities A fourball watched, intrigued, as a lone player played up short of the green they were on. The ground is part of nature. They charged one - and let the other one off. But registering is FREE and don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address, and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties see Privacy Policy. Com   Comedy genius Tommy Cooper had by far the most jokes in the list, which also includes gags by Peter Kay and Lee Evans. If you’re looking for funny golf jokes, then this is the best collection of jokes about golf for you to share with friends and family. Drowning your sorrows After a particularly poor round, a golfer spotted a lake as he walked despondently up the 18th. A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. Why do golfers put minus signs in front of their scores?Because subtraction speaks louder than words. Call a blonde golfer with an IQ of 125?. I know that you black guys are supposed to be magic in bed. This contest requires users to be registered in order to vote. To finish their bottle of whiskey!. 5° Right Hand AT705 Driver 10. Watson go on a camping trip. Best golfing jokes ever.

Best golfing jokes ever. A cop sees an old woman carrying two large sacks. And a week later you have to buy some more. Can you give me a few pointers?” Barack gave Donald a few ideas and that night Donald made love to his wife. You do if your round of golf is interrupted by a lightning storm?. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. One of the sacks has a hole and is leaking 20 dollar bills. You must be a registered user to submit a joke. Now, what do you intend to do. The Donald said, “Listen Barack, I’m getting older and I’m having trouble sexually satisfying my young wife. The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant. Click here to go to your profile page to complete the process. 3 drunk guys enterd a taxi. Call 1,000 golfers lined up on a pebble beach holding hands?. Walk around holding your 1-iron above your head, because even God. I like my women how I like my golf score. They spent a decade and twelve million dollars designing a pen that would work below three hundred degrees, in space, and on glass. A sandwich walks into a bar. Melania came quickly screaming. What do golf and sex have in common?. ChooseA wife walked into the bedroom and found her husband in bed with his golfclubs. Best golfing jokes ever.

Best golfing jokes ever. Always carry two pairs of trousers with them ?. When Nasa first began sending astronauts into space, they were confronted by a small problem. The car driver lost control and crashed. I almost died in Finding Nemo. Has golfed all his life, has his own definition of the word G. Slept like a log last night. So I went  -  and I got it. He was understandably upset, and sought out the farmer. Researchers examined more than 1,000 jokes before whittling them down to a final 50 and getting 36,000 people to vote for their favourites. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. You just need to learn to keep your head down and your left arm straight. What kind of model is Paige Spiranac? A hole in one of a kind model. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. Funny golf jokes - one liners !. I can hardly contain myself. Every time I hit the ball I scratch my head and wonder where it went. Usually she slept through the class. Low in the 80s and with a handicap. What do you call Jessica Alba joining you and your buddies for a round of golf?Fantastic 4-some. Best golfing jokes ever.

Best golfing jokes ever. He decides to test it out at dinner one night. ” Slow play The problem with slow groups is that they are always in front of you, and the fast groups are always behind you. It became a problem because it kills the flowers. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. What do you call a Downie who loves playing golf?A tee tard. Please rate funny short jokes by clicking on smiles, so funniest jokes will be also best jokes on our web site!Attention! If you rate joke, joke rating and position will change. Through a hole in my fence and pee into my yard. Through the windscreen of a BMW. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. ” What’s the best part of having sex on a golf course? The hole experience. A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. One advantage over a fisherman. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. A jump-lead walks into a bar. Click here to go to your profile page to complete the process. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. And get new jokes every day. ? Golf balls are like eggs. Woke up in the fireplace. The cop asks the woman, “Where did an old lady like you get all of that money?” She replies, “Well, there’s a golf course behind my house and when golfers need to go to the bathroom, they stick their p. Best golfing jokes ever.

Best golfing jokes ever. “It’s good to see there is still some respect in the world. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Bullets are made of lead, which comes from the ground. One says to the other,. “That was a really nice thing to do,” the second golfer says. Looks like you have JavaScript disabled. I tried water polo but my horse drowned. As they teed off on the next they noticed him quickly chip on and putt out, before running up to their tee. What do you call a blonde at a golf course?The 19th hole. Too wet to play golf when your cart capsizes. A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. Hole [the clubhouse bar] and started to go straight home. Why did the chef cook his eggs on the golf course? Because he wanted them par-boiled! Why does Trump always ensure he has a second pair of pants with him every weekend? In case he get a hole in one. One starts to insult the other one. Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners. One boy throws his bag out the window. Why did the blonde golfing pro cheat on his wife?Because he thought every day he needed to play around. A woman gets on a bus with her baby. A wife walked into the bedroom and found her husband in bed with his golf clubs. Rugby Sevens Hits Moscow. Best golfing jokes ever.

Best golfing jokes ever. Why was the computer so good at golf? because he had a hard drive What happened when the dog played golf? He hit the ball into the ruff. Was taking her first golfing lesson. Funny golf jokes - one liners ! The schoolteacher. About the player who spent so much time in the bunker he got mail. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow. Between driving in golf and driving a car is that when you drive. “I was married to her for 35 years. How do you know a golfer is cheating on his wife?He always puts his driver in the wrong bag. ” “Well, it’s only right,” the first golfer replies. I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. Into six other cars and a fire engine. The right club? A hacker was playing so badly that his caddie was getting increasingly exasperated. We respect privacy and keep all emails confidential You have reached the maximum number of submissions for today. Stuck for a short, snappy joke next time they’re doing the rounds in the clubhouse bar? One of these great golf jokes will always raise a smile… 20 Of The Best Golf Jokes Let’s start with what we consider the best of our 20 great golf jokes… Mark of respect Two golfers are ready to play on the 11th tee as a funeral cortege passes by. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. What do you do after a round of 18 on a hot sunny day?Wash your balls. Difference between a lost golf ball and the G-spot?. Through the fence, I grab ahold of it and shout GIVE ME $20 OR IT COMES CLEAN OFF!” “That seems fair enough,” the cop says, “so what’s in the other sack?” The old lady replies with, “Not everyone pays…” Donald Trump was golfing with Barack Obama. But registering is FREE and don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address, and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties see Privacy Policy. Best golfing jokes ever.

Best golfing jokes ever. Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants?In case he gets a hole in one. Find 100 doctors all at the same place on any given day?. What did the duck say to the golf ball?Nothing it should have ducked. Why there are 18 holes on a golf course?. About the golfer who got shot yesterday?. I play golf is to bug my wife. Who taught Elin Nordegren to swing a golf club?Happy Gilmore. I was playing golf and I hit two of my best balls. The taxi driver knew that they were drunk so he started the engine & turned it off again. The father asks his son what he did that afternoon. You must complete account validation before submitting jokes. Particularly bad round of golf, Robert decided not to go to the nineteenth. Mulligans are the reason golf balls come three to a sleeve. The Front Nine The Back Nine - Funny Golf Quotes More Golf Jokes and Golf Pictures Please send Will and Guy your favourite golfing. Com requires session cookies to operate properly and your browser appears to be disabling cookies. Four worst words you could hear during a game of golf?. Yes, they said it was a hole in Juan. Home lighting to the patio and. A seal walks into a club. It came in at quarter past four. Best golfing jokes ever.

Best golfing jokes ever. Best collection of short funny jokes Best 10 short funny jokes based on visitors votes. A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins, What a turtle disaster        39. Rugs and carpets and wall hangings. What does a golfer do on his day off?Putter Around. My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked. I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov world chess champion and there was a check tablecloth. When a golfer sticks his p. The fire engine was unable to reach. The 3rd guy slapped the driver. Why are golf and sex so similar?They are the two things you can thoroughly enjoy even though you are really bad at them. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did. Rugby World Cup Sevens in. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. Do you know why the game is called golf?Because all the other four letter words were taken. The man ducked and the drunk, losing balance, fell off his stool on to the floor. It took him two hours to pass me the salt. You must complete account validation before submitting jokes. Golfers were standing over looking the river. Just in case they had a hole in one. He started out slowly entering his wife gently then finished hard. Best golfing jokes ever.

Best golfing jokes ever. Went to the paper shop - it had blown away. 5° Left Hand AT725 Driver 10. A vain attempt to do the same thing. Some of these golfing jokes might not be understood by people who have never watched or played golf, but most are easy enough to understand and should get a lot of laughs. The driver was shocked thinking the 3rd drunk knew what he did. Show Business is just to pay the greens fees. “How many eggs a day do you lay?” Eggs. Why are cripples the best at golf?They have clubfoots What do you call the 10th hole on a military golf course? 10-Putt! Yo Mama So Short That When She plays mini golf its just called golf. And finally, a classic… Why do golfers always carry a spare pair of trousers with them? In case they get a hole in one. This joke may contain profanity. The fire in time and the building burned down. He did everything he was told. Their standard ballpoint pens would not work in space. Chicken run A golfer sliced a ball into a field of chickens, striking one of the hens and killing it instantly. Now we have no Cash, no Hope and no Jobs. Were sitting at the 19th hole discussing their games this year when. Ball  Jack Lemmon After a. From St Andrews to Wentworth to Abu Dhabi. 10,000+ videos by PGA Pros. When his caddie then coughed as he steadied himself over a 12-inch putt on the 10th, he lost it. Best golfing jokes ever.

best golfing jokes ever
best golfing jokes ever


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